Toast Poast Number 39 Degrees

From Along-for-the-Ride Heidi:

Whose ride she was on when she came upon this, one can only imagine. As for the embroiderer – tripping on a crafty cruise. Give me a sec to fetch my reading glasses, needle case and thimble . I’m down with that gangplank.

Embroidered Toast

The all-time worst sandwich of my life, never to be trumped, involved a beautiful loaf of bread that I DID NOT FREEZE OR REFRIGERATE because that would ruin its flavor (supposably), and a colossal mound of HANDPICKED AND HOMEMADE strawberry jam.

Toasted a slice of bread carefully, the dial set north by northwest of dark. Soupspooned the jam over the toast in an indulgent gleaming puddle, tipping the toast from side to side to give the jam its sea legs, spread from crust to crust.

Took a slow, happy, bite, toast level to minimize drips, and BlEh-aCk-EEch-iSh!, scrunchy-up face, spit, gasp, scrape tongue, teeth, lips. Mold maliciously lurked in that toast. Sad face. Gargled with Round Up. Still pulling bits of sporangia out of my teeth.

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4 responses to “Toast Poast Number 39 Degrees

  1. Wow! I will not forget a similar experience at a restaurant in Alexandria… I think food embroidery is a clear next step for the knitters… How about some skull-laced Ritz crackers?

  2. I was on a colossal ride when I came upon this toast post (thisiscolossal.com). Very smart to gargle with weedkiller. Supposably (vs. supposedly) that is the best for interior mold-killing.

  3. Lisa Cherkasky

    Wait till you see what Suits-Herself-Cindy turned up. Oreo icing silhouettes! No joke. Now that’s a project we could all do in one evening. Cheap, too:)

    thisiscolossal.com is hillarious!! Dang, I htink I might have spelled suposably wrong. better check. your the best, Hei7di:) hahahahaha

    midnightsnack
    its-vs-it’s.com

  4. I saw those Oreo icing bas-relief sculptures! Amazing!

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