We will we will snack you

I can watch some baseball, basketball too, hockey as well. Football? The magic eludes me. Although, four seasons of Friday Night Lights later, I am a hair’s breadth away from a seed of appreciation.

My wide view: football is the thinking person’s sport. Not baseball after all. Football? Simply watching is not enough. You need knowledge of the plays, the players, the coach’s strategy. And more, I’m sure, much more. This is commentary from a football ignoramus. I’m just too lazy to be bothered.

Basketball has continuous play. A person could appreciate basketball with closed eyes. Of course, you’d be well advised to open your eyes and take in those long stretches of gorgeousness. Barely covered. What’s not to understand?

Football, not so. Identifying superhuman strength, grace, power, fragility and speed beneath the mountains of high tech protective garments will give your imagination a superhuman work out. My brain is simply too lazy.

Give me men on skates. Larger and lumpier, from monstrous gloves to grin-stretching mouth guards, hockey gear transforms a man into a bot. A beautiful, lightening-speed shriek-gliding bot. Wielding a big stick. Add continuous play, a barebones plot and I’m there, rinkside. Put that bun in the oven!

Tonight though, I plan to work my brain over the confounding stop, start, stop again, over-blown production called the superbowl. Ads and half-time so loud and proud, they dwarf the players to elf-size. I’ve been applying myself, studying up, hitting the stacks.

Snacks! We are gonna need snacks to keep the synapses sharp. And sips. Sips to lubricate the brain matter. Lazy no more, I’ll have my eyes on those flankers, full backs, gunners and guards. Put that watermelon in the wagon!


2 responses to “We will we will snack you

  1. Way to try to understand/deconstruct the Stupor Bowl… I am not as empathetic—kind of don’t even try to be. Can’t even “get behind” grooving on the tight-pants aspect. In other sporting news, I like men on skates, too—but they have to be wearing sequins and ballet-strength eye shadow a la Johnny Weir. I hope to be “enjoying” the game from the comfort of Downton Abbey.

  2. The superbowl is a costume drama now, isn’t it?! I can get behind anything having anything to do with Kyle Chandler, Taylor Kitsch and Zach Guilford.

    Have you seen this, Liz: http://entertainment.time.com/2012/01/05/which-downton-abbey-character-are-you-take-this-quiz/ ? I have a prediction about who you might be…

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