You Have a Friend in Cheeses

Voraciously sub food brand 01 2019

Photo by Stacy Zarin Goldberg. Art direction by Jennifer Beeson Gregory. Hole styling by moi.

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“On earth I was a manufacturer of Imported Holes for American Swiss Cheese,” the braided man tells Dorothy, in her fourth adventure in Oz. “I will acknowledge that I supplied a superior article.”  Read on.

Look up the nose holes of the hoitiest toitiest food mag to date, Cook’s Illustrated, and be shamed for Reubens past:

“A pockmarked wedge of Swiss may be instantly recognizable as the icon of “cheese,” but it’s rarely celebrated for its flavor. Often rubbery and bland, most Swiss—stateside, at least—may be fine as a gooey layer in a Reuben but would never star on a cheese plate. In fact, there was only one sample that we enjoyed eating out of hand the last time we tasted Swiss cheese, in 2005.That genuine Emmentaler from Switzerland (Emmentaler is the real name for the cheese Americans call Swiss) boasted a nuanced, sweet hazelnut flavor.” Read on.

Swiss cheese is not bland. That is my claim because my child would not eat it when he was small. Due to his resistance, I tasted Swiss anew, taste buds and brain fresh, and found it odd and oddly pungent. But not in a good way. Had to give it to him – highly passable, as in, I’ll take a pass.

Emmentaler, eminently, is the goo and the glue of our fondue. Soon too, sandwichitaler.

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One response to “You Have a Friend in Cheeses

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