You Have a Friend in Cheeses

Photo by Stacy Zarin Goldberg. Art direction by Jennifer Beeson Gregory. Hole styling by moi.

“On earth I was a manufacturer of Imported Holes for American Swiss Cheese,” the braided man tells Dorothy, in her fourth adventure in Oz. “I will acknowledge that I supplied a superior article.”  Read on.

Look up the nose holes of the hoitiest toitiest food mag to date, Cook’s Illustrated, and be shamed for Reubens past:

“A pockmarked wedge of Swiss may be instantly recognizable as the icon of “cheese,” but it’s rarely celebrated for its flavor. Often rubbery and bland, most Swiss—stateside, at least—may be fine as a gooey layer in a Reuben but would never star on a cheese plate. In fact, there was only one sample that we enjoyed eating out of hand the last time we tasted Swiss cheese, in 2005.That genuine Emmentaler from Switzerland (Emmentaler is the real name for the cheese Americans call Swiss) boasted a nuanced, sweet hazelnut flavor.” Read on.

Swiss cheese is not bland. That is my claim because my child would not eat it when he was small. Due to his resistance, I tasted Swiss anew, taste buds and brain fresh, and found it odd and oddly pungent. But not in a good way. Had to give it to him – highly passable, as in, I’ll take a pass.

Emmentaler, eminently, is the goo and the glue of our fondue. Soon too, sandwichitaler.

 

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The Cheese Touch

I suspect that some of the earliest sandwiches were cheese sandwiches. Cheese endures at room temperature – or warmer – through a picnic, through the morning until lunchtime, on a buffet, at the beach. There is a cheese to happily pair with any sandwich fixing.

Lucky Peach has just printed this story about American cheese, an arena that has become more and more exciting in  recent history. As much as the word “artisan” has become a word to mock, one must rejoice in artisanal American cheeses. Period.

An alpine-style Upland cheese from the state of Wisconsin would be make a beautiful grilled cheese and turkey on say, Friday, November 27 this year.

A Short History of American Cheesemaking

L’Academie du Sandwich

Grilled Wisconsin Cheese

Does This Cheeseburger Make Me Look Crafty?

The palette of patty toppings is seemingly limitless. Beef ain’t bland, but we love to luxe it out. We get all crafty and s**t, embroidering here, crocheting there, adding bits of this and that.

The Cheese & Burger Society knows all about it. You oughta see the lilies, lace, lilacs and doilies they’ve got dangling and draping all over those dripping burgers. Spectacular! Crafty bastards, look out! Yo gabba gabba hey, you’ll be digging through your cheese drawer to trick out your grilled fancies in the blink of a briquet. So click on the  link, yo! CLICK! Exceptionally clever and charming site. I’m telling you!

And while yer at it, Eat Wisconsin Cheese, hey! It goes with everything, particularly ridiculous croqueted frocks. Holy goldyfrocks, cheeseman!

Holy crocheted-doily, Craftzine‘s done it now.